I Won't
by rebelliousflower89
Summary: In that clearing, Jane was standing in front of a lake. She was making lines in the sand with her toes. The moonlight found Jane's features, highlighting her soft cheeks, warm lips and her long legs. Maura was lost again… in Jane's effortless beauty and grace. Maura moved closer to Jane while observing every stroke she made in the sand.
1. Chapter 1

_I won't do what you told me, I won't do what you said,_

_No oh,_

_I'm not going to stop feeling; I'm not going to forget it,_

_I don't want to start over; I don't want to pretend,_

_That you are not my lover; that you're only my friend,_

Maura awakened from an interesting dream. In it, she was walking through a darkened forest seemingly lost until she found a clearing. In that clearing, Jane was standing in front of a lake. She was making lines in the sand with her toes. The moonlight found Jane's features, highlighting her soft cheeks, warm lips and her long legs. Maura was lost again… in Jane's effortless beauty and grace. Maura moved closer to Jane while observing every stroke she made in the sand. Maura tried to get Jane's attention by saying her name but Jane didn't hear Maura and the more Maura moved towards Jane the longer it took her to get a couple of inches closer. No matter how much Maura exhausted her legs in hopes of reaching Jane; she couldn't.

Maura didn't know what to think of the dream and usually she didn't try to interpret her dreams. But this one was different. It was so vivid and reminded her of the camping trip her and Jane went on last week for Independence Day weekend.

**Approx. 328 hours earlier:**

"Maura, you are coming on the camping trip, aren't you? Please tell me Janie invited you." Angela asked.

"I heard Frankie say something to Jane about it but she didn't talk to me about it. I'm sure she just didn't get a chance to with this case and all." Maura responded.

"Janie! Why didn't you invite Maura?" Angela yelled down the hall.

"Ma! I'm in the bathroom; could you wait until I'm done to yell at me!" Jane screamed back in a very annoyed tone of voice.

"Well, anyway, I'm inviting you now. Will you come?" Angela asked Maura. Angela's eyes were filled with hope. She wanted Maura to go.

"I would love to." Maura smiled. "This would be my first time going on a camping trip. I always wondered what camping would be like."

"I'm so excited!" Angela rushed over to Maura and engulfed her in a huge bear hug. Angela was almost to the point of getting Maura to jump up and down with her.

"Ma, it's just a camping trip. It's really no big deal." Jane came into the living room.

"I can't believe you didn't ask Maura, Jane," Angela scolded.

"I intended to, I just didn't get the chance to. I do have a very busy and all-consuming job, you know." Jane replied exhaustively. Maura looked at Jane understandingly and smiled. "Of course I want Maura to come. In fact, since it's a family trip I assumed she was obviously already invited."

"While that is entirely true, Jane, however, I think you're just saying that now to cover your ass." Angela accused lightly.

"Maura, I really meant to ask you earlier. Honestly." Jane told Maura sincerely.

"I know, Jane." Maura's eyes met Jane's and they shared a meaningful glance.

'_Cause when you took my heart, you took it all,_

_When you gave it back, it fell apart,_

"Well, I should get dinner going." Angela went into the kitchen. She was making her recipe for pizza. Pepperoni, red onions and salami for Jane and garlic infused sauced pizza with artichokes, red peppers, sun-dried tomatoes, mushrooms, eggplant and spinach for Maura. Jane would never admit it but she was starting to like Maura's pizza better.

"So, should we start the movie now?" Jane asked Maura.

Maura nodded and walked over to her entertainment center. She put the disc in the DVD player. Previews emerged on the screen before getting to the menu. It was Maura's night to choose the film. Maura pushed play on the remote and _City of God_ or _Cidade de Deus _began. English subtitles littered the bottom of the screen. The entire movie was in Portuguese.

"Maur," Jane whined. "I don't feel like reading."

"Jane, I assure you, you will like this movie. It's very powerful and poignant."

Jane slightly scoffed, "You mean you've already seen it?"

Maura rolled her eyes and barely nodded yes. "Trust me."

"Fine, I trust you," Jane begrudgingly muttered. "We should probably pause it and wait for Ma though."

"Girls, pizza is done!" Jane and Maura leapt from the couch. Jane's stomach growled as the pizzas' smells invaded her nose.

"Smells delicious, Ma." Jane smiled. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Jane." Angela beamed at her daughter.

"Yes, Angela, thank you." Maura grinned appreciatively.

"It's really no problem." Angela said as she cut the pizzas into slices. Maura was setting the table and Jane was getting drinks for everyone. They ate dinner and shared comfortable conversations together. The movie was surprisingly good for Jane. She wished she could do something about canceling the cycle of gang violence but was amazed with the man who took pictures of the corruption and violence.


	2. Chapter 2

**Approx. 256 hours prior to the dream: **

"Frankie, you're doing it wrong!" Jane said judgingly. "Ugh, let me!" Jane shoved her brother out of the way. She took out all the camping equipment and suitcases so she could rearrange them to fit them perfectly in the back of the car.

"Whatever, Jane! I was doing it just fine." Frankie exasperated. "You can be so controlling!" Frankie punched Jane on the back of her shoulder.

"Ow, jeez, Frankie. And I am _not_ controlling!"

Maura stood back from Frankie and Jane, appraising them both and analyzing the complexities of sibling rivalry. She smiled while adding, "Actually, Jane, studies have shown that the older sibling tends to be the most controlling and righteous, because they usually take care of the younger siblings in the absence of their parents."

"Yeah, well, studies have shown that only children tend to be selfish and bossy. Spoiled, even." Jane said irritated.

"Studies also show that detectives named Jane can be rude to their best friends. It's disappointing, really." Maura smirked despite Jane's foul mood.

"You are too smart for your own good." Jane grunted before admitting she was indeed in a bad mood. "I'm sorry, Maur. But that doesn't mean I'm sorry for stopping Frankie for messing everything up and making it take forever to pack."

"Dramatic, much? Jesus, Jane, by your attitude, you would think apocalypse were near." Frankie articulated.

"Ma is fixing way too much food for the trip, like, wedding reception much." Tommy exaggerated.

"At least we won't starve on this trip." Jane uttered, clearly stressed.

Maura grabbed Jane's forearm, pulling her away from the car and her brothers. "Are you ok?" Hazel eyes stared into brown ones with concern.

"Yeah." Jane breathed averting her eyes to the ground.

"Jane." Maura waited and linked hands with Jane, squeezing them.

Jane looked up, locking eyes with Maura again. "I just…" She stopped, started again, "this is…the first time my pop isn't going."

"Oh, Jane." Maura sympathized and wrapped Jane up in a soothing embrace. "I'm sorry but I think we'll have fun. You can teach me how to find proper firewood and make s'mores."

"True, Maur. It just sucks but he's an asshole, so..." Jane started laughing.

Maura pulled back from the hug looking at Jane quizzically. "What?"

"I'm picturing you getting a fish off a hook and reeling it in. It's funny."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Jane."

"No need to thank me." Jane smiled and grabbed Maura's hand and tugged her back to the car. "I'm sure you'll be a pro, you are an M.E. after all. So, I take back the laughter."

"You better." Maura impulsively kissed Jane's cheek before she ran to the car to get into her seat. Jane was caught off guard and trying to wrap her head around the fleeting gentle kiss.

"Jane, get your ass in the car!" Tommy yelled.

After two hours of driving and multiple gas station stops (the boys drank a lot of soda before getting in the car and continued chugging sodas in the car), they finally arrived at the campground. Tully Lake Campground was about ninety miles away from Boston in Royalston Tommy and Frankie immediately unpacked the car, separating the tents and organizing the gear. Tommy picked up his tent, nudged Frankie to help him since they were sharing a tent together. Angela grabbed hers and began setting it up.

"Do you want some help, Angela?" Maura asked.

"Yes. Thanks, Maura."

"Just tell me what to do."

"Jane, you should help too!" Angela demanded. Jane was still sitting in the car. She was lost in a day dream. "Ok, Maura, you can hammer in that peg and I will hammer this one in."

Maura put in the peg and then walked over to the car. "Jane?" Maura asked curiously. Jane seemed distracted.

"Yeah?" Jane replied dreamily.

"Are you going to get out of the car?" She opened the car door reaching out to help Jane out of the car.

"Uh, yeah," she responded dumbly and grabbed Maura's outstretched hand. "Sorry, I was just thinking."

"About?" She inquired and smiled flirtatiously at Jane.

Jane looked at Maura curiously wondering if Maura's affectionate behavior was all in her head. "Oh, just about fireworks. Flaming colors and sulfur. You know, Independence Day has always been my favorite summer day."

"Flaming, huh?" Maura winked. "Is it your favorite holiday?"

"No, that's…uh…Thanksgiving." Maura was driving her mind wild.

"Oh, Jane, that's so sweet." She placed her hand on her heart which made Jane's eyes go straight to Maura's chest.

"Maur, it's because of the food. And football. And beer."

"Sure, Jane, whatever you say." Maura twirled her finger in Jane's hair very quickly and let it drop back on its rightful place before Jane could react. Maura walked back to Angela and grabbed the last peg and put it into the ground. "Jane, shouldn't we set up our tent now?" she gave Jane a devilish grin. Surprisingly, no one else in the Rizzoli clan paid any attention to Maura's flirting with Jane.

"Yeah," she answered and grabbed the tent. She walked six feet away from her brothers' tent before setting theirs down. Maura followed swiftly, eager to please. Tommy and Frankie were done with their tent and went off to seek firewood. Angela was getting the tablecloth out to put it on the picnic table. She put the coolers at both ends of the table to keep the wind from blowing the tablecloth off.

"Is anyone hungry?" Angela inquired. "I made lots of potato salad. There are hot dogs and hamburgers to be made. Pickle, Jane?"

"Yeah, pickle, Jane?" Maura whispered in her ear as they finished up the tent.

Jane stepped out from behind the tent, clumsily almost tripping over one of the pegs in the process. She cleared her throat before answering, "No, Ma!" She yelled harshly. "I mean, I'm not hungry yet. Thanks, though."

"Maura?" Angela looked expectantly at her.

"I'm still full from the nachos Jane shared with me from the last gas station stop, despite its pretty much nonexistent nutritional value."

Tommy and Frankie came back with arms full of tree branches. "Thank you, boys. Are you hungry?"

"Starving. Got any potato salad?" Frankie replied.

"Yeah, potato salad sounds good." Tommy said.

Angela handed the giant Tupperware filled with potato salad over to Frankie. "Thanks, Ma." Tommy situated the campfire, making sure the firewood was organized in the ultimate fire power way. Frankie began scooping the salad onto a paper plate and grabbing a plastic fork. "Did you bring pepper and salt?"

"Yeah." Angela said as she handed the seasonings to Frankie.

"Thanks."

Tommy went to sit down at the picnic table joining Frankie. He scooped up a hulking serving of his favorite salad.

"So, what should we do later? Ghost stories?" Jane asked the group. "Got any good ones, Maur?"

Maura looked confused. "No?" Jane smiled.

"You've never told ghost stories as a kid?" Tommy asked.

"I've never had the opportunity."

"You're in for a treat. Jane is the best storyteller." Angela announced.

"I have a good one." Tommy declared.

"I never knew you liked to tell stories, Jane."

"Well, I have many layers to my personality." She said.

"Personalities don't have layers."

"You know what I mean, Maura!" Jane glared at Maura and deeply exhaled in annoyance. "Anyway, does that mean everyone wants to do ghost stories?"

"Yep." The Rizzolis said in unison. Maura simply nodded.


	3. Chapter 3

At sundown, Jane got the campfire going and Angela got the stuff for s'mores out while Frankie and Tommy found sticks to roast the marshmallows. They all sat around the fire and passed the sticks and bag of marshmallows around. Maura looked puzzled. Jane nudged Maura's shoulder and laughed. "Just put the marshmallow on the tip of the stick, Maur." Maura complied and mumbled something about it being unsanitary. "It's what you do when you're camping…" Maura's look was adorable but she was obviously uncomfortable. "Next time, we'll bring one of those barbeque forks or metal rods or something sanitary." Jane's marshmallow was getting golden, Frankie's was on fire, Tommy's was drooping into the fire, Angela's was perfect and Maura's was barely touched by the heat.

"Next time?" She teased. "Pretty presumptuous, no?"

"Not really. I know you will go." Jane fired back, smiling and winking.

"Ok, I'm going to tell my story now!" Tommy stated. "There was this house for sale and a young couple was interested in buying it. The woman was pregnant and they were looking for a big place." He passed the graham crackers and chocolate bars to Frankie. Jane made hers next and Maura watched so she could replicate. "After escrow, they moved in. At first, they were really happy; they even adopted a stray cat that kept coming to their backdoor."

Maura took her first bite. "This is quite tasty." She whispered to Jane.

"Four days went by and another cat came by. They gave it food and water. Gave it love and affection. Ten days later and another cat visits. The husband tells his wife she should stop feeding them so they will go away. He barely likes the first one. She does and after eleven days, she bolts out of bed at the sound of something, like a growl followed by a crash. She looks over to her husband but he's not there. She feels his side of the bed, it's cold. She goes downstairs, yells his name a couple of times and no response. She looks everywhere, no sign of him and no sign of what the noise was. She looks for her phone, then the home phone. No phones. She starts freaking out, pacing rabidly and hyperventilating. Suddenly, she hears another crash, she jumps and trips over her husband's shoe."

Maura was on her third s'more. Her love of fluff was growing. "You enjoying yourself, Maur?" Jane teased.

"Mmmhmm. Can't wait for the climax."

"Maur?" Jane looked at her awkwardly, clearly befuddled.

"Of the story, Jane but nice to know where your mind goes." Jane blushed and Maura relished in her reaction.

"Upon hitting the ground, she notices that she's no longer alone. A shadow washed over her. She turned around so she was lying on her back. The moment she saw what the shadow was she regretted looking. It was an unrecognized man. He was dripping blood and had the evilest smirk she had ever seen in her life including horror movies. She started preparing herself for death. In that split second, the cats come rushing in and attacks the man. Three, then four, then five cats come through the open sliding door and begins gnawing and clawing at the intruder. The man collapses on the floor next to her, she's in complete shock, I mean totally not thinking at all, finally she scoots herself over to the couch. Out of nowhere, the cats pounce her even the one that she adopted. The cats clawed at her throat and she bleeds out covering the whole cushion and down onto the floor. The cats left. An hour later, her husband returns home from banging some chick and looks at the mess. He falls down on his knees, guilt ridden and pissed off. He blamed himself until the day he died. This was a day later."

"Tommy that is such a grotesque story. I can't believe what those cats did!" Angela exclaimed.

"Ma, you know what ghost stories are about. Gross, gruesome details." Frankie said.

"Yeah, but I like cats and now I don't think I can be around any now." Angela commented seriously.

"We'll protect ya." Jane told her. Maura smiled and thought about how sweet Jane is. She knows how much she loves her and how indebted she is that Jane shares her family with her. Everyone smiled.

"Yeah, Ma." Frankie and Tommy said at the same time.

"You are the best kids and I love you so much. On that note, I'm going to go to bed now. Give me hugs." She stood up and walked towards Frankie first; he was the closest, then Tommy, Jane and finally Maura.

"Goodnight, Angela. Sleep well. I love you too." Maura said while hugging her. Angela squeezed her tight.

"I love you."

"Love ya, Ma."

"Love you lots, Ma." Tommy said.

Jane started picking up the s'mores stuff. Maura followed her to the car where Jane put all the coolers and food in. Tommy and Frankie went to the lake to get buckets of water to put the fire out later. Jane and Maura went to sit around the fire and waited for the boys to come back.

"I'm really glad I'm a part of this trip. It means a lot."

"Of course. You're my best friend." Maura's face dropped slightly but composed itself instantly as she watched the flames dance and listened to the crackle of the wood.

_So, I won't do what you told me; I won't do what you said,_

_I'm not going to stop feeling; I'm not going to forget it,_

_I don't want to start over; I don't want to pretend,_

_That you are not my lover; that you're only my fri_end_, _

_fri_end_,_

_I won't,_

_And maybe you're not right for me, _

_Maybe this is hard to see,_

_I get lost in your beauty,_

_Then I just start questioning,_

'_Cause when you took my heart, you took it all,_

_When you gave it back, it fell apart,_

"Yeah, you're my best friend too. Ellbiffs, right?"

"Always." Jane replied and clasped Maura's hand with hers. Tommy and Frankie were now in view and carrying the water buckets as promised.

"Are we still going fishing in the morning?" Frankie asked.

"Of course. It's tradition. Every July 4th begins with worming hooks." Jane retorted.

"Good." Frankie said.

"I bet I will catch the most fish." Tommy dared.

"Sure, Tommy, sure." Jane verbalized. "You really shouldn't make bets you can't win." Jane's dimples showed immensely. She was quite confident with her fishing skills.

"Whoever catches the most fish has to gut them all." Frankie taunted.

"Well, I'm going to bed. Maur?" Jane stood up and waited for Maura to follow. "Goodnight you guys. I love you." Maura gave Jane's brothers hugs before walking closely behind Jane.

"Goodnight." Maura said.

"Goodnight." They said to Maura and Jane.

When Jane got into the tent she immediately unzipped the flap on the ceiling so the 'skylight' could let the stars shine in. Maura removed her heels before she zipped the tent door shut. She crawled over to her expensive and insulated sleeping bag. She rolled it out and grabbed her suitcase to get fresh sleeping clothes. She changed quickly realizing just how tired she was and got inside the man-made cocoon. Jane took off her shoes, socks, blouse, and slacks deciding to sleep in her sports bra and panties. "Goodnight, Maur."

"Goodnight, Jane." Jane dozed off rapidly while Maura was left with her conflicting emotions about Jane. Her feelings were strong and when they were together, sometimes no one else ceased to exist.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, Maura was the first to wake up. She took this opportunity to watch Jane sleep. "I love you." She whispered softly. Jane looked downright peaceful and beautiful. Maura listened to the birds sing and breathed in the fresh outdoor air. She unexpectedly felt at home but then it dawned on her; Jane was her home. And always would be. This idea scared her beyond belief. She never relied on someone else in such a way. Jane made it easy to trust her. Maura could hear Angela talking to herself; reminding herself of the things she needs to gather around for fishing. Maura decided to get up to talk to Angela. "Good morning, Angela. How are you?"

"Hey Maura. I'm good. How are you?"

"I'm happy."

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, didn't get disrupted in any way. Did you?"

"Yeah, I had a weird dream that I don't really remember."

"Did you know that over a typical lifespan the average person spends six years dreaming?"

"Really? That's interesting." Angela pondered.

Tommy and Frankie came out of their tent. "Hey Ma, hey Maura." Tommy greeted.

"Good morning." Frankie said.

"Good morning, boys." Angela said.

"Hey Tommy, Frankie." Maura responded.

"Want breakfast?" Queried Angela.

"Should I wake up Jane?"

"Yeah, we should head out to the lake within the hour." Frankie remarked.

Maura walked back to the shared tent. She could tell that Jane was beginning to stir. She knelt in front of Jane and put her hand on her arm, "Jane, time to wake up." Maura's tone was purposefully cheery because she wanted to see if she could get a rise out of Jane.

"Shush, Maur." Complained Jane and she rolled over onto her other side.

"You did not just shush me." Maura said as she flew her body onto Jane.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I believe it's called rough housing." Maura replied somewhat sarcastically to tease Jane.

"Maur! Get off of me." She tried to roll Maura off but Maura would not budge. She was a complete dead weight on top of Jane. "Ugh, fine, OK, I'm awake. You won! Are you happy now? Get off."

"Say it nicely, Jane." Maura demanded.

"You're certainly acting different on this trip." Jane murmured. "Please, get off of me so I can get up."

"That's better, Jane. And I'm not being different, just more open." Maura said, getting up and offering her hand for Jane. Jane took it reluctantly while thinking about how to get back at Maura. This has been an interesting trip.

"Hey guys." Jane greeted. "What's for breakfast?"

"I brought bagels, cream cheese, bananas, apples, strawberries, oranges, grapes, blueberries, muffins and donuts. And whatever else you can fix up with the food I brought."

"I'll have a muffin and a banana." Angela handed it to her. "Thanks, Ma." Jane gave her mom a thankful smile.

"Maura?" Angela asked gesturing her towards the breakfast foods.

"I'll have some blueberries, an orange and half a bagel. Thank you, Angela." Tommy and Frankie were pretty much through with their breakfast at that point.

"Are you getting excited about catching your first fish, Maura?" Tommy asked.

"I am waiting in anticipation. Do you really think I will catch one?"

"Yeah, especially since there is beginner's luck and everything." Jane said as she peeled her banana. "I think you bruised my entire side." Jane grimaced.

"And I think you're exaggerating." Maura retorted.

"Yeah, what happened when you woke her up? What were you doing?" Frankie questioned.

"Yeah, Maura, what were you doing to me?"

"I tried waking her up by shaking her arm and talking to her but then she shushed me and I decided to lie on top of her until she agreed to wake up and be nice." Maura explained easily.

"She attacked me out of nowhere!" Jane walked over to the cooler to get a bottle of water.

Maura followed and she grabbed one too but she also wanted to get out of earshot so she could tell Jane something. "You liked it." She whispered.

"Seriously, Maura, what has gotten into you?"

"You don't know?" Jane looked at her uncomprehendingly and waited for an answer. Tommy came over before Maura could answer. He grabbed a Gatorade.

"So, what are you guys talkin' about?"

"I was just teasing Jane." She smirked at Jane.


	5. Chapter 5

The line for the canoe rentals was considerably long. "Ah, man, we're going to be in line for the entire day while other people catch all our fish." Tommy exasperated.

"The line is not that long, Tommy. We'll get our turn." Angela reasoned.

"I wish I had my own boat." Tommy said.

"Come on, Tommy; let's go get some ice in the meantime." Frankie suggested.

"That's a good idea, Frankie. The ice in the coolers is pretty much all melted as it is." Angela said.

"Yeah, ok." Tommy agreed and started walking with Frankie.

"Thank God, if he was going to say one more thing about waiting…" Jane softly grumbled. Maura smirked knowingly.

"I can only imagine." Teased Maura. Angela watched their interaction more closely than ever before. Something is different; playfully heavier. She wasn't bothered by it, just very curious.

"Now, Janie, have more patience with your brother."

"Ma, come on, he was annoying you too." Jane gave her mom a challenging look.

"Maybe a little," she conceded. "_But_ I still want everyone to get along." Angela emphasized.

"We are, Ma." Assured Jane. "Just tell Tommy not to be annoying for me, and I will get along with everyone." Jane smirked. Angela in response rolled her eyes but smiled.

Jane caught two fishes, Frankie caught four and Tommy didn't catch any. Jane swore that Frankie must have gotten the lucky fishing pole. Maura insisted on rowing the canoe and Angela was happy to cheer on her kids. Jane had hoped that Maura would fish especially since Maura had said she was anxious about it but she got Maura to promise that she would go fishing with Jane the next day. Just her and Maura.


End file.
